I Met My Younger Self For Coffee
A few weeks ago, a new trend swept social media–”I met my younger self for coffee”. Inspired by a poem by Jennae Cecilia, people began writing their own versions and sharing heartfelt reflections as if they were sitting across from a younger version of themselves at a café. The idea was simple but powerful: what would you say to your younger self if you had the chance?
“She ordered a green tea, no sugar. I ordered the Frappuccino I knew she wanted.”
“I want to tell her she’s beautiful and nothing about her needs to be different, but I know she only believes people who tell her she’s not good enough.”
“He said he’s worried about the future and doesn’t want to fail. I said, ‘Stick to it, because what feels heavy now will one day feel as light as a feather.’”
“She asked me about my best friends. She hadn’t heard some of their names yet.”
“He said, ‘Do we ever stop missing him?’. I said, ‘Never. But we learn to live with the missing.’”
The exercise is brilliant in helping folks access self-compassion and flexible perspective taking. It invites us to pause and look back with a new lens. Often it’s hard to extend grace to our younger selves, wishing we had the insight we have now. It’s easy to judge our younger selves harshly, forgetting they were doing the best they could with what they knew at the time.
This practice also keeps us from continuing to compare ourselves to our future goals. When we only look at the path ahead, we think about how much further we have to climb, without taking a moment to look back at how far we’ve come. Reflecting back with gratitude, compassion, and even awe for the person we were can remind us of our own progress and strength.
So maybe today, you find a quiet moment to try it. Sit across from the younger you—5 years ago, 10, 20—and say hello. Find compassion for their flaws. Forgive them for what they didn’t know. Celebrate what they endured and what they chose, the things that got them to where you are now.
If you’d like to practice “meeting yourself for coffee”, try this.
First, visualize who you’re sitting across from. How old are they? What are they like? What are they wearing? How are they sitting? What’s your impression of them?
Then ask yourself:
What did your Younger Self care about? What did they worry about?
How are Present You and your Younger Self still similar? How are you different?
What advice would Younger Self need to hear?
How would Younger Self see Present You?
What would Younger Self ask Present You about your life now?
One day, when Present You becomes Younger Self, what would you hope to hear?
Poem by Jennae Cecilia
